Thursday, May 05, 2005

Feliz Cinco de Mayo, cabronas!

Welcome to Cinco de Mayo, where I have celebrated by downing a metric shitload of tequila to celebrate a bunch of mestizos whipping up on Europeans. Feel free to make an inappropriate joke concerning racial stereotypes and alcohol, as American pop culture tells us it's not really racism when directed against Redskins, Braves, Indians, Fighting Sioux, Sun Devils, or.... well, you get the point, and I could spend all day and get carpal tunnel before I finish with that shit. Hang around for the Feast of San Geronimo, I'm going to roast an entire side of beef on a spit and throw large rocks at the first three European-Americans who walk by my house.

Today I settled for a recipe gleaned from Begging the Question, I have mixed feelings about reporting that it seems something good has come out of Texas. Being 1) Mexican/Indian on one side and 2) from New Mexico, I sort of have a congenital predisposition to dislike Texas (unofficial motto: no Mexicans, no Indians). There's a saying in eastern New Mexico that goes "So far from God, so close to Texas."

What was I talking about again? Oh yes, I'm going camping this weekend. I get to leave the gigantic flaming shithole which is Seattle for three glorious days of fresh air, sex, and tramping around in the woods with the pup. Did I mention I fucking hate Seattle? No offense to my northwestern cousins, I'm sure you deservedly love your homeland, but Seattle is a boil on the Devil's own buttocks. When I get back I'll try and talk about abortion (because really, nobody ever talks about it these days), why I hate Texas, and why I take evangelical Christians about as seriously as I take Bill Gates. While totally respecting their belief system. In the meantime, go find out why it's better to live inside our heads than the real world.

Requests for power animals and Authentic Indian Names (tm) may, as always, be emailed or left in comments.